The Not Day is a concept I invented after a mental breakdown and a serious car accident. Here’s the deal: We have a lot to get done in life. I’m not talking about big picture life but just day-to-day life. I’d write a list but honestly, no matter what, it would feel overwhelming to list out every little thing one does in a day or a week.
FIRST, It all started with a mental breakdown.
I lost my shine. You could see it sartorially—all black. Sweater in winter and T-shirt in summer, and while cashmere sweaters and leather loafers are always in vogue, the mask on my face was not, day to day couture but a veneer covering cracks. A uniform that took one controllable decision out of my day. My mental capacity could barely work nights, keep the house to my standards, put dinner on the table, maintain my friendships, host events, keep up on errands, and do it all with a gracious smile. The cracks split through the veneer, and I shattered. A dozen phone calls and SEVERAL therapist sessions later, I was no longer depressed!
Nope. I had an all-new diagnosis- bipolar and OCD. It was like something had flipped in my brain. The OCD-induced anxiety and manic episodes were making daily life impossible. SECOND: shortly after, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. THIRD: I was in a serious car accident with a major concussion! Cause you know, things like to happen in threes. This is not a pity party or a poor Kait post! Rather, an intro to the most positive change I’ve made to keep myself together and functioning.
Enter: The Not Day
When you are feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, or you cant- don’t. If those dishes in the sink are the one thing, you dread pulling yourself off the couch for, don’t. If making your bed will overload you for the day, it’s not going to hurt anyone to have the blankets sit there- the same for the laundry, the dusting, that phone call, or that email. The logic is: stopping everything that seems to drown you for 24 hours will not wreck your life. Hitting the reset and doing nothing will make it so tomorrow you can conquer the world, something you don’t have to do today.
Additionally, The Not Day gives you back the power. By saying intentionally saying “no” to the things that are overwhelming you, but in the grand scheme aren’t direly important, you take back the control. Doing this for days on end is no more healthy than doing so much that you then crack. However, giving yourself a 24-hour respite to do whatever, be it watch stupid brain-numbing tv or finish that book you can’t put down, can make a massive overall difference on your mental health.
The Not Day How-To:
Simple things- extra-long cuddle time with your pet babies, a cup or two of tea, a very long shower or bath, absorbing yourself in the craft you love (heyyyyy fellow Cricut people), watch the YOUR movie. Don’t answer texts and calls; unless it’s life-threatening, it can wait a day. The Not Day is different for everyone! Once you ALLOW yourself to stop, the quiet and not-ing will take its own life. Your body and spirit will do what they need to take care of themselves. I’ve been known to sleep straight through a Not Day because that’s what my body needs!
The major key to The Not Day is to enter an agreement with yourself, NOT to guilt yourself for not-ing.
So go forth and do not. Let me know how it goes! I’ll check in after my own Not Day.